


Le Manque D'endurance (Or: Bucky is Not A Bear)

by DeductionIsKey



Series: -Unfinished Writing Prompts- [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, But He Doesn't Remember, But Oh! Tony Does, Crack, Gen, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, I Don't Even Know, I Tried To Make It Light But Still, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I Wrote the first Bit at 2:00 am, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 04:47:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11798712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeductionIsKey/pseuds/DeductionIsKey
Summary: Steve started it. Tony will swear up and down, rant his rights backward, and throw the book at that the supposed patriotic bastard. He has a video, has witnesses. Or maybe he would if they weren’t in 1940 and Steve used to be the tiniest thing ever, what.Tony has never wanted a phone more.





	Le Manque D'endurance (Or: Bucky is Not A Bear)

 

“It’s an experiment, Rhodey!” Tony said, waving his hands about to form the best impression of an insomniac squid. “For science.” He threw his best smile at Rhodey, but seeing as he was smelly, baggy eyed, and just a bit maniacal, it ended as more of an offer to donate your blood from a vampire type of smile. And Tony would know, he’s seen Bruce without coffee. ‘Oh, bad thoughts, Tony. Nope.’ He said to himself, tapping his feet to push that thought away. ‘Let’s talk about Doctor Who, Rory deserved more amiright?’ He looked up to see Rhodey staring at him with a fond but confused face.

“I said that outloud?” Tony scrunched up his face as Rhodey nodded. “Oops. Well, you should know Rory waited 2,000 years for Amy and she waits 37 years for him? That’s like, 1963 more years. She deserves like a cake or maybe a car. They’re pretty much the same price.” He looked over at Rhodey again whose face was suspiciously flushed. “What’s wrong?” He said as Rhodey suddenly had to use the bathroom and was that twat laughing at him.  
-  
“But seriously, Tony, you cannot made a time machine. I doubt you even can!” Rhodey said after the chortling liar came out of the bathroom.

“It’s the TARDIS II, Rhodes.” He said, ended the sentence with a dignified flip of the hair because dang he was fabulous. Rhodes sighed, as though he wasn’t dealing with the coolest, smartest, human being that had even existed, except for maybe Pepper, but he could change his title to the coolest, smartest, man. You’ve got to concede to your CEO, Tony decided. That was fine.

Once again Rhodey interrupted the coolest, smartest, man ever to start his hate against the beautiful TARDIS II. “We don’t like trolls.” Tony said, hugging said actually quite small device.

“Bed, now.”

“You know that sounds alot like one of those IronWar fics people write a lot.” He waggled his eyebrows. “Hey, Rhod-”

“Tony.”  
-  
“I’m leaving in an hour, Tony.” Rhodey said as he entered the room where heavenly coffee resided. “I have to go get that 3D print of my leg down in London remember?” He said as Tony’s blank stare.

Tony flopped down at the counter, gracefully setting his coffee down and so it sloshed, it’s supposed to do that. “I don’t see why we can’t just get one here.”

“Because 3D printers are expensive and I want to steal an ashtray from the Queen.”

Gasp. “That’s treason.”

“That’s life.” Rhodey said, grabbing his own non-sloshed cup of life. “Ugh.” He said, looking over the cup. Why does this taste weir-” he broke off, looking at the jar labels. “It’s caffeinated. I was drinking decaf before.”

“Better get a move on then!” Tony said, running to get Rhodey’s bag.  
-  
“Why so eager for me to leave?” Rhodey asked as they made their way to the limo that Tony had, and yes he was awesome, why do you ask?

“Any person who drinks decaf is not welcome to my lovely gorgeous house.” He lowered his voice to a hiss. “You might be contagious.”

Rhodey laughs like Tony isn’t not kidding and no seriously he needs hand sanitizer stat. “See you, Tones.” He says as he gets in the limo painfully. “Bye.” Tony says back.

Tony’s not crying, you are.  
-

“Behold! My Masterpiece!” Tony gestured dramatically with both his hands as drums thrumming from the ceiling. “Ta-da!” Dum-E whirled around excitedly, clicking as he moved to touch the bright blue box. “Ah, ah. No touchy.” He pointed at Butterfingers with his screwdriver, who was standing in the back corner, looking as though it wanted to touch it as well. “Bad, Half-cooked AIs.”

He moved to the switch on the side of the box, opening the police call box sign, where several buttons and lights were in the center. “Let’s try out this baby then.” He moved forward to the button, pausing as he hovered over it. “I designed this to act like a conduit to a secondary character. So, I have to bloody build another one and dang it.”  
-  
“There.” He clapped his hands as he laid the TARDIS II ‘2’ on the ground of an alleyway in Brooklyn. Brooklyn was hardy, it could take it. ”Let’s do this!” He reached up with his armor, aiming to shoot up. Seeing two teenage boys looking curiously at the item that lay in the alley, Tony growled and aimed his gauntlet at them. Honestly, Brooklyn. “You guard it, or I come and take it out of your allowances.” Nodding, the boys gulped, rushing over to where the device stood.  
-  
Those kids were idiots, apparently.

“Where the frick is my machine?” Tony said, landing in the alley. He reached on his arm to access the tracker that he’d placed on it because you can never be too careful and he’s a paranoid popsicle.

“Why the Thor Bloody Hammer is it in a racky apartment complex.” He said, growing more frustrated. “Daddy’s coming, little TARDIS II.”  
-  
Saying the apartment was crappy would be an understatement. Especially because it has Steve freaking Rogers in it and step away from my baby.

He aimed his hand at Steve, the draw whirring. “Step away from my baby and nothing happens, pompous patriot.” Steve huffed, his face growing red as Tony talked.

“You left two boys there guarding an million dollar toy!” He said, though he stepped away from the TARDIS II. “All they would need to do is press a button and who knows what it would of done!”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Okay, two things. One: It’s five million dollars, and two: The buttons wouldn’t of done anything!” He walked toward his machine, unloading himself from his suit. “It’s location-based, Mr. ‘I traded IQ for abs’. The kids were fine.”

Steve sighed, clearly not believing him. “You never think of anyone but yourself, Tony!” He said, once puffing up.

“So that’s your devense? You’re wrong for once, all perfect one, and suddenly you turn it back to me?”

“I am stating a fact! You could have endangered those kids!”

“But I didn’t!” Tony was reached desperation now, his tone turning. “I’ll show you.” Bracing, he pressed the buttons of the whirring machine, expecting nothing to happen.

-

“Well.. it seems I’ve miscalculated.”


End file.
